Trigger

I know a girl who's anorexic. Or rather, she must be very, very close to being one. I can tell by the lack of life behind her eyes... okay among other things. She just posted a picture of a girl with an extremely noticeable spine/ribcage, and captioned it "This hair color is perfect." Okay, yeah. And it was linked back to three obviously pro-ana blogs. What's weirder is that then I realized that after those blogs, the girl had actually reblogged it from a DIFFERENT girl I know, which raises all kinds of questions about that girl, too.

My point?
I just got triggered, bad. I saw it and immediately something clicked on. While I've been slipping slightly back into my disordered ways (did I ever stop?) I thought the whole thinspo/online social networking part of it would never come back... but then I saw that picture, immediately started browsing the linked thinspo blogs, got onto the PrettyThin message board and after doing that in less than a minute also decided that the way to solve all of my problems is by eating carrots and ONLY carrots.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is...
I'm back. I secretly did want to get better, was trying to, maybe did a little sorta.
But that sucked. I just replaced this obsession with other ones. And honestly, I prefer this one.
Expect many more posts and comments from me in the future. : )