Thursday, May 27, 2010
You probably won't die by shoving food down your throat as fast as you possibly can, unless you're lucky enough to choke... but what if for one moment you truly believe that inhaling the fatty mush fast enough will kill you? Did you really try to kill yourself, however misguided your method was? Is it scarier that I just tried to kill myself or is it scarier that I truly and wholeheartedly thought I could do it instantly just by eating fast? What was that again, "magical thinking"? Delirium. Desperation. Exhaustion. Apathy. The insatiable appetite to kill myself using my appetite.
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You can die that you. Your stomach can rupture.
ReplyDeleteDO NOT WANT V STOMACH EXPLODY!!
I read once: 'over-eating and apathy are emotional forms of suicide'.
ReplyDeleteI believe it's more than that. I used to think it was a form of subconscious self harm, but it's more than that, because when I stuff food down my throat, it means I've stopped caring, and I've had enough of my body...
But keep fighting it, promise me you'll keep fighting it
x x
Die the beautiful way
ReplyDelete:[
ReplyDeleteI've... well I've actually done something incredibly similar to that. Don't give up on yourself, please! I care about you too much.
on a lighter note, that is a very interesting way to go!
ReplyDeletei truly hope that is the only way you try to kill yourself. i really hope you feel better asap, and know that we are here for you