Maybe I'm trying to rationalize my strong desire to let myself relapse, just until January.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
You know, people always tell you, ACCEPT YOUR BODY. But what about ACCEPTING YOUR MIND? No one ever fucking tells you to do that. They always tell you you're sick, you're crazy, you need help, you need to stop thinking this way. But how can you stop hating yourself if you can't learn to accept your body AND your mind? Society is telling us our bodies are bad, then our minds start telling us our bodies are bad, then society goes right back and tells us that now our minds are bad too for just fucking agreeing with all the stupid bullshit lies that society shoves down (and back up) our throats 400 fucking times a day. WE CAN'T WIN. Do you know what I mean? Maybe sometimes I need to just take a break from fighting all of this; maybe I need to give in a little. Maybe I need to accept that this IS a part of who I am and that I NEED to give in to it every so often, and that to fully accept who I am, I have to accept even this.
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please dont relapse. youre stronger than that. you have to accept both your body and you mind, but your mind is in a bad place right now. and accepting it wont make anything better.
ReplyDeletekeep trying, please, for your own sake.
<3
Dont replase love :/
ReplyDeleteI understand how you mean, even though everyones trying to convince me theres nothing wrong with my head. We cant try and change everything at once, so I think you should take it slowly. Tbh it varies from person to person on what helps them more.
Cold turkey. Completely stop.
Or, cut down until theres nothing left to change.
I hope I helped :)
feel free to email me if you like XD
<3
I think you need to accept that these thoughts in your mind will always be there. You will always wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, wondering whether you look any bigger or smaller than the day before. It may always be a struggle to eat three meals a day. I think that is the part to accept, because once you accept that you will always be dealing with that mind, you can identify those thoughts and work your way through them. EDs tend to be something that stay with most people forever, whether they are "recovered" or not. I am by no means saying recovery is a bad thing or that you will never be able to. Recovery is awesome and if you set your mind to it, you can recover! You just need to be prepared that those thoughts will not go away, and part of recovery is dealing with those thoughts but eating the chicken and pasta anyway.
ReplyDeleteI think that is the part that people outside of EDs do not understand. Yes, we can physically put food in our mouths, and we can maintain a normal weight. But those abnormal thoughts will most likely never go away. It is a part of us, and we have to deal with that.
I love you, and I hope things are going well :) xoxo
This is the most interesting post/idea i have read all night~
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. I'd even take it farther...at the same time we're told to accept our bodies we're still surrounded by ads with skinny models and articles about how to lose weight.
ReplyDeleteSo if we have to accept our bodies even tho we don't hit that perfect mark...why can't we also accept our imperfect minds?
And who the fuck gets to define "perfect" anyway?
It is like we're only allowed to accept ourselves if someone else gives permission!
Well fuck that!
(Btw my blog would probably trigger you, just fyi)