I don't know why I feel more compelled to restrict if I make little gimmicks or games out of it... like 500 calories before 5:00 or 700 before 7:00 or whatever, as if that will magically make me have any self-control...
And yeah I have about 5% of my concentration now so I don't know how to start or end this entry. But I want a tattoo but I know tattooing over scars can fuck up the tattoos, which rules out most of my body. I have about 3.5 inches of space on my right wrist, my feet, my chest/collar bone area and my shoulders to work with. But I really want a tattoo on my right forearm, and I have about 8-10 pretty small, light scars there that I'm afraid would screw up the tattoo. Has anyone gotten a tattoo over scars before? Do you think it would be a problem?
Another thing is, the tattoo I had been considering the words "Thank you for being a friend." which as you may or may not know is the first line of the theme song from Golden Girls. I tell people this and they laugh and ask me, "Are you being serious?" Of course I'm being fucking serious! How is the ONE thing that has always been able to make me happy for years and years not serious? Do you mean to tell me that your fucking nautical star that is any more fucking meaningful than my Golden Girls tattoo? People are stupid. End rant.
I've recently decided not to get that, because thinking about it ended up making me really sad because I'm not sure that I've ever had a true friend. Not sure that I want a tattoo reminding me of that.
hey - about the tattoo over scar thing. i think if it were over a scar that wasn't raised up at all, if it were only an area of lighter skin, it would be ok. i'm not a tattoo artist or anything, but i have a tattoo. you could always go to a shop and ask their advice. it's good to talk to the artist as much as you can first, anyway.
ReplyDeleteand yes. be sure of what you want, obviously, as everyone tells you. don't get one that will make you sad. make it something that will give you hope! mine is a design i drew of a heart - a reminder i'm always loved.
have fun figuring out what you want to get!
"Magical thinking" is pretty common among anorexic-like EDs. Something to do with our commonalities in personality type.
ReplyDeleteMy biggest one is that I have to achieve "balance" with what I eat...like it has to be soem arbitrary balanced amount, like god forbid if this lettuce leaf has too much or too little dressing on it.
And I totally agree with you that stupid tattoos are STUPID. Why the hell would you want to have a meaningless butterfly, rose, star? What's the point? To "be cool"? All of my tattoos mean something personal to me.
(Also, I had a friend who was CRAZY for Golden Girls.)