If I could tell you this I would

I feel like I could quite possibly love you. I can't pinpoint exactly when these feelings started, but a few months ago I realized that every night before I went to sleep I had to talk myself out of texting you goodnight. If I realize I'm not talking to you I get sad. And I love your awkwardness. I love how I've never heard you laugh, but I've seen it, oh I've seen it. You never want to let yourself laugh completely. You hold it in and your whole body shakes. I want to hold your hands and take naps with you and make you laugh so hard that you finally let it out. I know you're sad and I want to make you happy because you make me happy. You make me want to be well. You make me want to live a long and happy life. I think about you too much. And I don't think you feel the same way, but god, the way I feel about you feels so real and mature and I think we'd have such a beautiful relationship. And you're texting me right now but you don't seem happy. And I overthink this and I'm afraid you hate me. But I won't think about this anymore, I'll just crawl back in my turtle shell and live my weird little life and hope that one day you'll realize that the right girl for you is right in front of your eyes.