Must

staystrongstaystrongstaystrong.

I totally just broke down and at a pickle spear (10) and 36 oyster crackers (60). And I had stawberries (45) and a banana (121) for breakfast, so that brings me to 236 calories for the day. It's not so bad I guess; I'm just annoyed at my present lack of control. Plus, we're having pasta tonight. I just Google Image searched "look of horror" to describe what I'm feeling in regards towards the impending nightmare that awaits me at dinnertime, and this was the first result:

Haha. I believe this is the lady from How Clean is Your House?, which reminds me how much I miss having BBC America. They had the best shows suited to my disordered-interests, like, of course, Skins, then I believe the other show was You Are What You Eat, plus Super Slim Me, plus a ton of other documentary pieces.

I had a good talk with my friend. I figured, why not? Not "good talk" as in "we worked things out" more like, a normal, friendly talk. Maybe not talking to each other for a few days helped us erase the negative feelings we've worked up towards each other. I need to learn to accept our friendship for what it is--nothing--without completely tearing her out of my life. Why? Because I realized that we go to shows together, and being show-buddies with someone is a stronger bond than friendship itself, honestly. Because shows are more important than friendship itself, because hardcore music draws us in more strongly than any other living being. To give up our friendship would be to make shows awkward, which would be a fate worse than death.

I have the weirdest fucking priorities in life.